Love. A word that most people grow up hearing. You hear it
from so many different outlets that it almost doesn’t seem like it has a true
meaning. I love my mom. I get sad when I think about not having my mom. That is
something I was just born to feel. There was never a moment where I had to
think about it. I grew up feeling that way and it doesn’t even make me blink
when I think about it.
People use the word love to describe how they feel towards
intangible people or inanimate objects. Everyone at some point has said “I love
my phone” or “I love that celebrity.” You cannot possibly really love those
things. You like them. You might even like them a lot but you do not love them.
It demeans the meaning of love when it is used as an adjective. I think the
most important thing to remember is that love should be a verb and not an
adjective.
I started dating my first really serious boyfriend when I
was seventeen. We told each other we loved one another a week into the
relationship. That was not love. That was blind infatuation. I let how much I
liked him take over how I really felt inside. I am still not even sure when I
actually fell in love with him or if I ever even did. I will never know because
we used the love word before it was how we felt.
Now that I’m older, I see love differently. I’ve had my
heartbroken. It wasn’t until just recently when I felt like it was completely
healed again. I don’t know if I’m just more cautious of my heart or if I changed
my mind completely about love, but I almost don’t believe in the word love. I
would prefer to hear “I care about you so much, I want the best for you in life
and I can imagine a future with you” then just hear someone tell me they love
me. Maybe it is because I used to mindlessly say “I love you” or “I love it” so
much, that now it has no deeper meaning. I wish I could have explained that to
a younger me.
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